Nightmare

This morning I woke up to my alarm at 4am and I immediately rolled to Fred. I wrapped his arm around me and I said "nightmare." He held me as I tried to get a grip.

This was one about FEAR. I was terrified. I know why I had this dream.

Fear 1: Heights

It was a huge, immense skyscraper. The elevator I rode in it was like a rocket up and down. I looked down from the top and it was almost like a comic book how tall this building was. I couldn't see the ground just the side of the building all glass and metal.

Fear 2: Losing Ellie

Ellie was there. She was in a car that drove off a high level of the parking garage and plummeted to the ground. I saw it go off the edge. I can't explain the pain that ripped through me.
I spent much of the dream trying to comprehend that I had lost Ellie and how terrible it was for her. It was the pain of losing a child and having the death be so violent. I wanted to die too. It was impossible for me to even draw a breath. It was terrifying.

I am trying to work it out over coffee and Pride and Prejudice.

Breathing.