Raising Girls

There is nothing more satisfying then raising children. I longed for it all my life.

While I was working at my computer today, which is on the dining room table, Ellie and Sagan played at the table (I encourage them to).

We don't watch much TV. Though as a spring break week some "vegging" was encouraged. So as the girls played with some paper and pencils we had a discussion.

It started with Ellie encouraging Sagan to throw her scraps away to keep the table clean. Sagan shot fire from her eyes when Ellie asked her to keep the table tidy. I explained to Sagan how a young lady should always respect a shared space. For example the dining room table. I keep my area clean so others can come and sit. Ellie keeps her pencils in her art box so they don't clutter the table. These are ways in which we can respect others who share space.

I asked Ellie if there was a guest in our home how would she have had them dispose of the scraps. She had some fine ideas. First she suggested putting a small waste basket by the table so they could easily find the trash. A guest might not know where the kitchen trash is located. She also suggested showing her guest where it was and making a "joint" trip to the trash so they could both keep the area tidy.

We spoke of a time where a friend had candy and she did not. The friend did not offer to share and kept eating in front of her. Ellie explained that it really did not hurt her feelings. She has plenty of candy at home. I asked her what would she have done if she had the candy and the friend none. She would have shared. Naturally. She is very empathetic. Both Ellie and Say are.

We also talked about the level of a lady's voice. (This is my big problem as I come from a long line of loud women) They understand the appropriate level of a voice in a restaurant, library, or a concert hall. This is as opposed to a theme park, park, or riding scooters outside. But when we are in company we use a softer level of voice. We speak clearly but in a softer tone. Sagan is learning inside voice/outside voice.

We already have table manners down to an art, sitting while waiting with hands in our lap down pat, and also we are very good at being quiet while mommy is talking to someone and only if it is very import do they gently tap and say "excuse me."

Mind you my sister in law Pauline laughs. I subject her three lovely daughters to my rigorous standards. She says they get a "tic" when I am visiting them. They have to remember to close their mouths while eating, use a fork, use a napkin, never lick fingers, sit straight up, drink without making a noise, etc. I love the girls so much that I leave the room while they eat so they can enjoy their food. (They still tattle..."Auntie Jeanne Anna is doing ..... Fiona is doing ....") Good times!

What breaks my heart is that Ellie is so considerate she will never ask for her turn. She would be fine watching other children participate and NEVER ask for her turn. While others yell, demand, and are physical to ensure their participation. This will probably cause issue when she is older. I am hoping some of Sagan's strong personality might rub off on her. Just a little to have her know its OK to ask.

When I was teaching at Bay Meadows there was a rumor. A woman was describing each of the 5th grade teachers for another parent who was trying to decide which teacher to ask for. "Mrs. Zanegood ONLY likes girls." While I felt that was an unjust and untrue statement I could not help but wonder if that is how I was perceived by others.

Girls ROCK!