"Clearing the Room"

I love blogging. It's something I enjoy doing and it allows me to share things I could not share on FB. Blogging allows me to share complete thoughts and ideas not just status updates. For a writer it's a better forum.

Now I am not saying that I am a writer but I do like to write. I am sure I told you that last year for my birthday I bought a MAC. I have used it 2x. I love it but it is meant for me to write with. My present to myself. I have a book within me but I am not ready to share it yet. It's there. I know its plot and characters well. They live inside my head and they call to me.

I will be returning to grad school this fall. I have to do my Ed.S thesis. I am being required to petition due to the 8 year rule of coursework. I began before Ellie but never completed the thesis. I have taken all of the courses but not the paper. It's a good time since I am knee deep in technology at FLVS. Once I am done with that I can continue to the PhD. I just don't know why I would want it. I already teach college. I could get it and teach at UCF. Ellie would be able to get free tuition at college which would be a plus. But would I be happy teaching college. It's not all that much fun. I have been doing it for 10 years. FLVS gives me a distinct sense of purpose. I love it.

Next topic. Mistakes. I have made many in my life. This topic has been sloshing around my head the last few weeks. I hate thinking of mistakes as a negative. Why can't a mistake be perceived as a positive? There is always something positive that comes from a fallen situation. Wouldn't you agree? A life lesson? A new outlook?

I am pushing through a situation currently that has been eating away at my soul. It sounds overly dramatic but it's the only way I can explain it. I am not worldly, but I am smart. Not as smart as I once thought but there was indeed a life lesson I needed to learn. I learned more about myself just recently then I ever thought I would. I know I am being vague, but you have to know all is well and I am just blogging to seek clarity. If I can get all the words out perhaps there will be a breakthrough of meaning. Ha! Yea right. :-)

I am conflicted. It's a challenging time.

To seek clarity I tend to "clear the room." You know when you are trying to rearrange a room of furniture sometimes it best to see the room as empty and start building the room based on one new feature at a time? I am talking in circles.

In order to find clarity I "cleared the room" just recently. I cleared the room of anything that would distract me from rearranging my life. To find the true meaning in it once again. I brought it back down to its most basic pieces. It hurt to "clear the room" or "clear my life" as it would make things quiet and isolated. It was necessary.

It's hard to clear your head when it's been filled with lies. At least I think there were lies. Where lies the truth?